When I was in fifth grade, I made a promise to myself:
"I will never get bullied again."
I was undersized then, and honestly, I still am compared to a lot of people. Because of that, I was often seen as an easy target.
Something changed in me during that time.
Even though I didn't know how to defend myself, I decided that I would never allow fear to control my life again. I didn't have all the answers, but I had made up my mind that I was going to become stronger.
Years later, at 19 years old, I discovered Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
What started as a way to learn self-defense quickly became much more than that.
I trained hard. I competed in numerous submission grappling tournaments and was fortunate enough to have success along the way. Eventually, I transitioned into professional mixed martial arts competition.
Through that journey, I had the opportunity to train with and help coach some incredible athletes, including Jon Jones.
But the greatest thing I gained wasn't medals, wins, or accomplishments.
It was confidence.
Training taught me that confidence isn't about believing you're unbeatable.
It's about knowing you've put in the work.
It's about trusting yourself under pressure.
It's about understanding that even when life gets difficult, you have the ability to adapt and keep moving forward.
Today, I walk through life with far more confidence than I had as a child. Not because I think I'm invincible, but because I've repeatedly put myself in uncomfortable situations and learned how to overcome them.
I found something that helped me build confidence.
You can find that too.
For me, it was Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
For someone else, it might be boxing, Muay Thai, wrestling, strength training, running, public speaking, starting a business, or learning a new skill.
The activity itself matters less than the growth it creates.
That said, I'm a huge believer in combat sports.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, boxing, Muay Thai, wrestling, and other martial arts teach discipline, resilience, humility, and self-belief in ways that are difficult to replicate elsewhere.
You don't need to become a fighter.
You don't need to compete.
You simply need to challenge yourself.
Because confidence isn't something you find.
It's something you earn.
And often, it's built one uncomfortable step at a time.
Final Thoughts
Confidence isn't something you're born with.
It's something you build.
It's built through discipline.
It's built through failure.
It's built through keeping promises to yourself and doing difficult things when you'd rather take the easy path.
For me, confidence started with a promise I made as a kid who was tired of being bullied.
That promise eventually led me to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, mixed martial arts, and experiences that taught me what I was capable of.
Your path may look completely different.
That's okay.
The goal isn't to become someone else.
The goal is to become the strongest version of yourself.
Maybe that starts with going to the gym.
Maybe it starts with learning a new skill.
Maybe it starts with reading more, speaking up more, or taking a chance on something you've been putting off for years.
Whatever it is, start today.
Not tomorrow.
Not next week.
Today.
Because every small action builds confidence.
And confidence has a way of changing everything.
The opportunities you pursue.
The relationships you build.
The goals you achieve.
The life you create.
One year from now, you'll either wish you had started today, or you'll be grateful that you did.
Choose growth.
Choose discomfort.
Choose action.
The confidence you're looking for is waiting on the other side.
— The Wellness of Men Team
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