Why So Many Men Feel Lost
Depression hits hard when you feel like the world is against you.
Many men feel that in today's society they are constantly being criticized, judged, and blamed. They feel as though they are told from every angle that masculinity is a problem and that the very traits that once made men respected—strength, leadership, sacrifice, and responsibility—are now viewed negatively.
Many men believe there are double standards throughout society.
They look around and see situations they perceive as unfair. They see different expectations placed on men and women. In many physical fields of work (LEO/firefighter ect) women have a lower standard. They see different standards applied to similar behaviors. Over time, those perceptions can create frustration, resentment, and hopelessness.
Many men feel there is a double standard in relationships as well.
They believe that when a woman cheats, people often look for explanations. Maybe she wasn't happy. Maybe her needs weren't being met. Maybe the relationship wasn't giving her what she needed.
Yet when a man cheats, he is often immediately labeled a terrible person with little effort made to understand what may have contributed to the situation. Perhaps the fact that men have on average 17 times for testosterone than women and need that physical release.
Right or wrong, many men see these differences and feel the scales are not balanced.
Men are frequently told that parts of their masculinity are toxic.
Yet many of those same men spend their lives providing for their families, protecting the people they love, and sacrificing their own needs for others.
They work long hours.
They carry stress quietly.
They put food on the table.
They solve problems.
They show up when people need them.
And many feel they receive little appreciation for doing so.
History is filled with examples of male sacrifice.
Men have fought and died in wars throughout history.
Men have worked dangerous jobs to support their families.
When the Titanic sank, countless men remained behind while women and children were given priority access to lifeboats.
Many men look at examples like these and wonder why male sacrifice is so rarely discussed today.
For some men, frustrations also extend into areas such as divorce, custody disputes, and family court. They feel unheard. They feel overlooked. They feel as though the system is not designed with them in mind.
Whether those feelings come from personal experience, stories they've heard, or observations they've made, the emotional impact can be significant.
The constant feeling of being criticized, ignored, or misunderstood can lead to anger.
It can lead to resentment.
And eventually, it can lead to depression.
But this is where we need to be careful.
Because depression wants us to believe that we have no value.
Depression wants us to believe that we don't matter.
Depression wants us to believe that things will never improve.
And depression is wrong.
We have value.
We have worth.
We matter.
No matter what anyone says.
No matter what struggles we face.
No matter how difficult life becomes.
We cannot allow the world to bully us into forgetting who we are.
We cannot allow criticism to define us.
We cannot allow setbacks to destroy us.
Instead, we must continue working on ourselves.
Improve your health.
Improve your mindset.
Improve your finances.
Improve your relationships.
Improve your confidence.
Become stronger mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally.
We can change.
We can improve.
We can become better.
None of us are perfect.
All of us have flaws.
But every single one of us is capable of growth.
Most importantly, remember that there are people who care about you.
People who love you.
People who need you.
People whose lives are better because you are in them.
Never forget your worth.
Never forget your value.
And never let anyone convince you that you don't matter.
Because you do.
— The Wellness of Men Team
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